‘Freedom’ and ‘equal rights’ are the common suspects to be named when you are asked about the essentials of democracy. But the famous philosopher Aristotle (3rd century BCE) claimed ‘friendship’ between citizens as its foundation. To denote in today’s language the bond between fellow citizens that make a democratic society prosper, he would probably have chosen ‘respect’.
Respect is the lubricant that allows democracy to function smoothly. It ensures that no group of society is forgotten. While not everyone and everything can be the focus of attention all the time, citizens of a respectful society know that their own concerns will be addressed in due course. They are empathetic with others and try to balance different needs, rather than pitting various groups against each other. They know that short-term gains paid for by others may result in higher long-term costs.
Respect is like the quiet friend or family member who gets little attention as long as they are around. Their silent work in the background is often taken for granted and is missed sorely when they are gone. Re-establishing respect after it broke down in a conflict is so much more difficult than making amends while it is not yet too late.
The litmus test of our democratic maturity is our reaction to opinions we do not share. Disrespect is not limited to rude responses, but it includes the reluctance to pay attention. In contrast, the willingness to listen to inconvenient views and to engage with arguments challenging our own are the signs of respect. Respectful encounters give real dialogue a chance, and with this comes the potential of sustainable solutions or balanced compromise. But even if we fail to achieve this now, trust may still be built, and perhaps the next dialogue will take us closer to agreement.
Respect goes hand in hand with transparency and consultation. In a functioning democratic society, parties and governors explain what they want to do and why and how, and they deem their fellow citizens worthy of clear and timely information to allow them to raise concerns. Fair procedures are observed in such consultations, because worse than getting a project wrong would be showing disregard to the sovereign, which is the people the government serves.
Respect enables us to see that there is much more that we share and that can potentially unite us, whereas disrespect cuts the bonds between us and alienates us from each other. Respectful interactions create the citizens’ trust in the democratic institutions as well as in our colleagues and neighbours. Disrespect dissolves the glue of a democratic society.
Respect is what we should all strive for. Where we find it missing, we should work towards establishing it, leading with our own example.